Living Luxe: You were an officer with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) for only two-and-a-half years before you were shot while on duty in November 1998. Your injuries resulted in eight hours of surgery and the lower part of your right leg being amputated. This didn’t scare you away from your career — in fact, you eventually returned to full duties. How did you find the strength to keep going?
Laurie White: I was able to return to full, unrestricted active duty after 10 months of rehabilitation. During that period, rehab was my full-time job. I thrived on having a schedule, a routine, and my physiotherapist held me accountable. I very much needed that structure in those early days. I learned to set micro goals because bigger goals were too daunting and overwhelming. Focusing on smaller, more attainable objectives gave me a sense of accomplishment.
I struggled immensely in the early months of recovery. The pain, both physical and psychological, was excruciating. I was depressed, bitter, and even had suicidal thoughts. It was a very difficult time, and the hopelessness I felt was severe. As an active, young, fit female, I could no longer envision a future. I spent so much time alone, and days were long and bleak. Thankfully, I slowly began to make progress, the physical pain started to change and subside, plus I sought counseling. To this day, I am incredibly proud of my openness, my willingness to be vulnerable, and seek out help. I was also fortunate to be surrounded by a loving family and many friends, excellent healthcare providers, and supportive colleagues at my detachment.
Living Luxe: Eventually you took on other roles within the RCMP, but you also started speaking about wellness. What has it been like helping other people who’ve been through such serious adversities?
LW: I’ve been a public speaker since 2000 and I am honored each time I am invited to share my story and my experiences. Since my book was published, and conferences and events are being held in person post-pandemic, I have been asked to appear frequently. It’s a way for me to connect with others, to advocate for positive change, and to continue serving the public in retirement. The most rewarding part of presenting is the emotional feedback I receive because that feedback reinforces to me that my message is resonating.
Living Luxe: Your book, 10-33: An Officer Down Steps Back Up, was released in 2021 and it details your journey. Why was it so important for you to write your memoir, and what do you hope people garner from it when they read about what you’ve accomplished?
LW: I had many hopes when I set out writing my book. I wanted to have a voice because within my workplace, I often felt I didn’t. I wanted to help reduce stigma and speak publicly about mental health and resilience. Society is becoming more open to those conversations, but we must continue to normalize them. It was cathartic to reflect on my life experiences and view them through a different lens. I wanted to reframe some of the situations I faced so I could focus more on lessons learned. I wanted to humanize the uniform. I think the public can be quick to judge police and the way we are forced to make split-second decisions often with little to no information. I wanted to share my version of events because I know firsthand what it is like to be subjected to unfair judgments. I think that by sharing my experiences in the most compelling ways possible, I can help people better understand the pressures first responders face.
As a single mother, I wanted to leave a legacy for my children. I also needed a new challenge when I retired and the pandemic hit. Learning about writing a book and the publishing industry was just what I needed to ease into that phase of my life. I also consider myself a “doer” and someone who follows through on things. Since I had promised myself that I would write a book, I definitely knew I needed to achieve it.
Living Luxe: Self-care and resilience are both so vital to maintain wellness. You say you experienced post-traumatic stress and depression after what you went through. What do you do for self-care, and what lessons have you learned about the importance of self-care and resilience?
LW: Receiving a medical diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in 2003 helped me understand the condition better and allowed me to view myself and my behaviors differently. I was nervous about what the diagnosis would mean for me at work, but I was also relieved to be able to carve out a treatment plan. I am an advocate for therapy. I think having a willingness to share our experiences in a safe environment is healthy and normal, and having that ongoing maintenance and self-awareness is helpful, no matter what we are facing in our lives.
For me, self-care has changed somewhat over time and has looked different at varying moments in my life, but what has not changed is my commitment to physical activity. Working out daily is non-negotiable — it’s great for my mobility and pain management, but it’s even better for me mentally, as I find I am unsettled and irritable if I am unable to fit in exercise. It is critical to learn what motivates you. When you develop that self-awareness and permit yourself to do what works, you learn boundaries and you learn to trust that you are functioning in the best way possible.
I have also learned that recovery is not always an upward trajectory. There are inevitable peaks and valleys, and while the lows are disappointing and frustrating, navigating them well is incredibly empowering. Resilience is only built by facing obstacles and proving to yourself that you pushed through, that you effectively managed them. Those successes are not always noticeable to others, but they do build confidence.
